How vs. Why

I have been reading a book lately that has me thinking more and more about the 'why' questions of this life. The finite world that we live in has us so caught up in the "how" of things- so much so that this one simple word often controls more than we know, maybe even our entire lives. How am I going to make enough money...how am I going to show her how I feel...how am I going to impress my boss...how am I going to get him to love me back...how am I going to be happy? How am I going to make it? It is these questions that leave us searching for a formula- some version of 1+1=2 that will immediately and effortlessly give us the perfect solution to all of life's "how" questions. There's one problem: In life, 1+1 doesn't always equal 2.

I myself have spent countless hours searching for such a solution to my own 'how' questions, and after years of failed attempts, Ive decided that I'm done. Finished. Through. My search has come to an end. It is this inevitable failure that has brought me to this point where I am today. And as I sit here pondering my many failed attempts at formulizing my life, I realize that it was never the 'how'questions that were important at all. Deep underneath the mess of life, there is a question that will unearth the true reasons we feel the need to ask the 'how' questions in the first place. One word: Why? The truth is, this simple question is often too painful to ask, and even more painful to answer. Consider these questions in lieu of the 'how' questions above.....Why am I so focused on money.....why do I feel the need to impress everyone....why doesn't he love me...Why aren't I happy? Why....am I even here?

And so, it starts. Why am I here today......exposing my thoughts to the never ending black hole that is the internet? Is it because I have too much free time? Nope. Is it because my life is so interesting as to merit reading from passers-by? Nope. Is it becacuse I just really like to share my thoughts? Haha, maybe. Truly, it is to examine this question of why....to process and vent and think and share....and hopefully come to a greater understanding our awesome God and His plans for us. Why don't you join me?