Some may call me crazy. Some may call me dedicated. Some may even applaud me for my efforts at "getting in shape". In reality, I am nothing but a stubborn, competitive girl who refuses to surrender to the idea that there is something I simply can not complete. Yes, I have recently started training for a half marathon. If you have read any of my posts below, then you know that I am not doing this because my heart is consumed with the passion that exudes from each shin-splitting stride, or each calf-busting blow. Running and I have been at odds for longer than I can remember- and the truth is, I spend almost every step of every mile simply trying anything I can think of to distract myself from the horribly boring and painful task at hand. Yes, I hate running. With a passion. So why am I subjecting myself to something so terrible as the half-marathon? Two Things. 1- Pride. I would be lying if I didn't say that a significant part of my motivation comes from the fact that running is something I have never really been able to conquer, and I don't like to give in to a challenge.
2. Although an insane desire to win my war with running has sufficed as a starting point for my training, there is no doubt in my mind that my half-marathon hopes would be short-lived if it wasn't for one more thing: freedom.
I can not explain the freedom that is experienced after a run- no matter the duration. It is as if, for a time, I have surrendered myself to the road and its effects. But as soon as I reach the end, as soon as I take those last steps, a weight is lifted and I am free. I am at peace, and I can rest easy.
Have you ever played would you rather? Sure, it can be fun. But in my experience, it often turns into a quest to discover each person's opinion of the least-tortuous of tortuous experiences. For example, " Would you rather die by freezing do death, or Chinese water torture?" Ok seriously, both bad! How we can spend so much time amusing ourselves with such questions is beyond me. Well, if someone were to ask me a Would You Rather question involving such scenarios, I can tell you right now that the most tortuous experience I can imagine is being forced to run a race that has no end. Running....and running....and running....and never getting anywhere? Never getting to experience the incredible freedom that comes with finishing a race.
My brain is jumbled. But as I sit here with aching muscles and sore knees, I am thankful that my race has an end. I believe that so many of us, myself included at times, are being forced to run a race that never ends. We get caught in the race of the world...running, and running, and running...hoping that someday, our running will get us somewhere. What we don't realize is that we have already been offered the chance to experience the freedom that comes from rest and conquering a race. The problem is, we often don't realize we are running in the first place until our legs give out. My heart aches for those who can't see the finish line, who haven't yet realized that they are running. I pray that they see that they don't have to run anymore. That there is rest.
"It is for freedom that Christ set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." - Galatians 5:1
