Many circumstances in the past year of my life have been.....well, a little tricky. Uncertain. Unstable. But tonight, that is so not the point. Looking back, and looking inward, I have realized that the hardest thing to accept is not the situational predicaments of this past year. No, it is the way in which I have succumbed to the fear and anxiety in response to these events. These are often the most difficult hurdles to jump, and the ones whose injuries cut the deepest. I have struggled silently for far too long with this fear- with this lack of faith that has proved detrimental to my friendships, my family relationships, and most importantly...my relationship with the Lord.
But the hang-ups that my struggle with this anxiety has caused are not the point. You see, I've come to realize that the pain is never the point. Nope. The point...the amazing point that has captured my heart, brought me to tears and invited me to sing, is that the freedom and grace that is offered through the Lord's redemption so much bigger than my pain. SO much bigger than my anxiety. Than my fear.
The truth is, all of us are walking with a distinctive limp toward the finish line. We have all been broken, bruised, and have dealt with hidden struggles. There are times when we all wonder if we will make it. Honestly, there have been times in the past year when even a limp has been impossible for me. And there have been times that the Lord has extended His hand to me- and I have rejected it. But the incredible truth that I have come to realize is that He will never stop reaching down for me. And when I finally decide to muster enough strength to lift my hand up to His, the strength and peace that are offered overcome my heart and I realize that I have been doing it all wrong. I am not meant to limp alone.
I have been limping alone for far too long. This is it- my solo travels end here. I have finally realized that we are all broken, that this is ok, and that He is bigger. He is bigger! And the strength that comes from believing that...truly believing that is overpowering. I invite you to recognize with me that it is ok that we are limping. But more than that, I invite you to reach up and take the hand that is waiting for you...and I pray that your heart is just as captivated as mine.
