A Panoramic View

I am thankful.  Really, truly thankful.  It's funny how often we analyze our lives and think, "well, if only this didn't happen this way... or if only I could have had that, or done that.  There isn't hardly a day that goes by when I don't question why things are they way things are in my life.  Why did that happen to me?  Why did things have to turn out that way? Why did he hurt me like that?  And most of all, why does such an incredible God allow such crazy things to happen in my life?  This evening, I was reminded of the answer.  Three simply words:  I don't know. 

The truth is, there is hardly an immediate answer for why things are the way they are.  If we knew why things happened the way they do, it seems as though someone, somewhere would be making millions from their new best-seller "Prevent the Inevitable Craziness of Your Life Before it Becomes Inevitable"...or something like that.  I'll be honest- if such a thing existed, you can be sure it would be on my top shelf.  

But let's step back for a moment.  When choosing to see my life in a more "panoramic" view, I have slowly been able to piece together the "whys" of my life.  I believe that Caedmon's call says it best in a few lines of one of my all-time favorite songs, "Lead of Love":

Looking back I know you had to bring me through

All that I was, so afraid of

Though I questioned the sky, now I see why

I had to walk the rocks to see the mountain view

Looking back- I see the lead of Love

Although we rarely realize it at the time, the "whys" of today just might be the ah-ha moments of tomorrow.  As I reflect on my life, I can't help but see the Lord's wonderful lead of love woven throughout my circumstances.  Although failures, hurtful relationships, and emotional struggles have left scars, it is these scars that have made me who I am.  I have been broken and I have been wounded.  I have lost friends, lost faith, and lost hope.  At times it seemed I had lost it all........but I have never lost the love of Christ.  And it is through these scars that I have been drawn to Him and his unconditional love, and it is with these scars that I pray I may share this love and hope with others.  

So today, I am thankful.  I am thankful for the reminder that my life is bigger than me.  That I don't need to know all the answers right now.  So go ahead.  Pull out that panoramic picture of your life.  It just might surprise you.